Sometimes I feel free like the birds flying in the sky Sometimes I just want to run hide and cry But each day does change some good days some bad Wipe away those tears be happy not sad. Hear the birds sing look how the flowers grow Sometimes your journey through life is slow But take small steps which turn to leaps And soon you will be able to keep Going, moving forwards in all you do Keep focused keep safe and just be you.

I’m outside, trying to escape the pain in my heart And as I look up I smile at a star and it’s smiling back at me Oh what it must be like to be a star and not me The light, shimmering piece of silver dust in the sky And as I look up the pain I feel has shifted to another place and I’ve almost forgotten the pain Oh what it must be like to be a star and not me Taking in the sky, breathing in the night’s air, seeing other stars and living by the moon A thousand dollars I’d give to simply be that star At least to feel beautiful and free Oh if only the star could grant me my wishes Throw me a fortune and pass me a piece of its shimmering beautiful light I’d look upon it as something more The little light in the sky is so much more than me Or at least I sometimes feel it is The silence has stopped and I hear a beat The music has started and I take a step away from the silver star Anything else to distract myself from the sadness I still feel inside my soul Their dancing and now so am I I’m dancing to the beat, dancing to the drums Anything else to distract my mind from the sadness within my soul Were all dancing now , dancing below the sky of stars And our feet move like that of a skater on ice With ease and like we just can’t stop And as our eyes look up into the sky it makes the dancing even brighter We all want to reach the sky and we all want to break away Break away and just feel fun Our feet have become one as we’re all dancing to the beat in the same way And as our feet are dancing to the beat and our minds are looking to the sky We are all nothing but happy souls But as the tunes start to stop and as the stars start to fade Oh, but a whisper of sadness is starting to return And so we turn up the music and we dance again It’s all about keeping the sadness at bay and our eyes on the sky And so we keep dancing with our feet

Just something I wrote to describe how I am feeling at the moment. I thought I had left you far behind Your claws are digging into my heart Clawing away bringing the darkness in Like a black fog clouding my mind Sometimes you hide and it seems brighter But then you creep back in like a rolling sea mist Making yourself heard and seen like a black wave It's all so dark and cold here again I cannot see a light at the end just darkness

The mental in the mental health Means taking better care of self It might mean meds or therapy For safety sake, to simply be It takes some time to realise That life within, not seen with eyes To heal that hurt in past and present For mind to ebb and flow, intent Intent on growth and change within For wanting to be better again In some this is a mighty act While others soon to heal, intact But all suffer back to health again Are sometimes left, no support, in vain You see the truth; how people react No physical symptoms to treat, a fact With broken leg or arm to heal With physical health, it’s there, it’s real But mental health which can’t be seen Is overlooked, we slide between the cracks of life and sometimes fall Overlooked, ignored, not real at all So, if you are one of the four With mental health left at the door Your GP might not understand, And no diagnosis comprehend So we are left to fight our corner And out of sight and mind – it’s torture To see society ignore us Not wanting to be made to fuss So we fester like an open wound No crisis team are coming round Left to rely on own resources To fight for every bit, recourses The state does neither know nor care What mental health really is, despair Another day, another failure Whilst people left to fade, no saviour They rWhile abusers, accusers call us losers They think we sometimes make it up You’re not living this, you have some luck If mental health fails you in future, Perhaps then you’ll realise it’s futile To have a bath, a cup of tea, Or mindfulness or therapy Because we’re pigeon holed by diagnosis All individual, not same neurosis So change has to come, and soon But politicians all sing same tune Change is coming, they shout the promise, I wish that they would be more honest. to us as ‘service users’

I lay here in the dark In my lonely bed Fighting evil thoughts Running through my head. During the day I can survive, When it’s light outside I feel alive. Then night falls And darkness closes in Then the demons in my mind Their evil games begin. It seems so strange, I am not afraid of the dark But when light flees The black dog begins to bark. Is it the loneliness? Always being alone Or do I have a problem? That throws black dog a bone. But I’m sore and I’m tired. I really need to sleep. Maybe today is the day, I won’t want to weep.

When I’m down in a funk. There are certain triggers that gets me flunked. Don’t ask me if I’m okay. Because you know what I’m going to say. And that is where a split occurs. It’s either yes, I’m fine, or other words. But generally it’s a deep hearted sigh. And then the question why oh why. Because you can see I’m not alright. And generally it’s because I’ve had a bad night. Sleepless in Margate, oh what a joy. Life isn’t a pop of the cherry, when you’re a boy.

Hospital: place where life is extended beyond its natural scope. So many mistakes in my life. Is there nothing I have not ruined? Bad decisions? Omissions? Transgressions? Things I did not know I could have done. The options were not even also rans. I could not wish for better companions now, Than in this bay: five ludic old men That make up the six invalidated here, Like sailing ships at anchor after battle. Yet still I shun their company. And seek the quiet of an empty corridor, The stillness of an hour in night light, Out when the traffic on motorways is subdued, And I'm only half a life ago, a half identified, half distant from the world where birds trill might have disturbed The precarious mirror of the precious air. But from this hospital perch I see In all the world set out below and far There is no greener grass than here. My salvaged body retains every dent. Made in answer to the call. And puzzles why I still live. In these translations of body into mind, There were so many codes I did not know, Encrypted in the enzymes as if willing. Bits of the machine to live on Where no self-preserving mind would follow. This reverse transcription reveals all. The real possibilities of the matter in mind: If there's any grass at all on the other side The competition is so intense and wall to wall, My presence is not registered at all. My options are not even also rans. Why not then stay. The flood of displaced aspirations Record the broken nerves reporting. How the absorbent sponge of memory is wrong. In the grip of these gentle hands Cradle a rabbit's wracked and fractured spine. Suspend the ribs and try to lift. From terminal incomprehension The weight of a breath of life, That crushes in and hits against The tender spots in hearts Pulsing with the conviction Infinity is glimpsed in this utopia. Before the Interruption of death.

What did I do today? What will I do tomorrow? A muddled voice. A happy dream. Where will I go to find myself? I guess there’s no one there, And so, I search for a happy place. Where peace will give me time. To think about a future To let go of the things I can’t change. Be happy as I am, In my place to live in peace. But still, I crave for love.

So here we are to celebrate World Mental Health Day Where everything gets better Hooray, Hooray, Hooray The great and good will eulogise With a serious and grave fare How we must help so many people And bring them into our care And then the day is over You go on with your lives But what about us Who have to live with it 365 While we support your gesture Its true we really do There is so much more needed Systems need making anew So don't blame us we're Broken Completely broken down We just need some help Don't treat us like a clown We need a fresh start Not just one little day Because we are here forever We are not going away

Chocolate is my guilty pleasure Cakes are my guilty pleasures Crisps are my guilty pleasure Cheese is my guilty pleasure Puddings are my guilty pleasures Fags are my guilty pleasure Medication is my guilty pleasure My husband is my pleasure which I cannot do without What’s the point in life? Unfortunately, the negativity is putting on weight and numerous health issues But there is a way to cope with these. When you have mental health issues These guilty pleasures help you survive And bring you back on a plateau So you can cope with the ups and downs What would I do without these guilty pleasures? I would just die. Friends and clubs are guilty pleasures They keep us sane.